Skip to main content

Psychology debunks the idea that we’d be happier if we lived somewhere else

Several times I've had the idea -- or the wish -- that if I could just move to another locale, another state, another country, another planet -- beam me up Scottie -- my life would improve. Not that my life was all that bad. Yes, I had some terrible times, but maybe geographic change might be just what I needed. 

I think this is the case for most of us: A new start.

In my case, the military made the choices for me, whether I wanted to or not. In my first 21 years of active duty, I was assigned to 11 different bases. But I brought all my shit with me. 

Since retiring, I've lived in four different cities. And sometimes, besides the hassle of moving, it has been fun, most of the time. But still, I brought myself along.

But I many times believed that my current challenges might be different, better, solved, if only I could make a fresh start. Maybe do better by my kids, save one of my marriages, but life doesn't work that way. Life is hard. How you react to it makes the difference. 

I thought (wished) I could get a better start. Improve myself, have better relationships, get a better position, have more fun. 

The problem is, as always, I came along with the ride, with all my existing baggage, without really changing myself.It wasn't until I was about 35 -- possible even later -- until I started to get a clue. And I didn't do it alone. I was 40 before I got my college degree: A B.S. in psycology, of all things. 

A new city, meanwhile, is the geographic version of a crush, enticing and full of untested promise. So we wind up believing that the simplest way to get a fresh start is to pick up and move to a new place, where we might find a more challenging job, get out of debt, start dating a nicer boyfriend or girlfriend, take up yoga and finally begin self-actualizing

And yet there are some big problems with the geographic cure -- starting with the fact that we tend to overestimate how happy we’ll be in a new environment. In one study, psychologist Daniel Kahneman, author of Thinking, Fast and Slow, found that midwesterners expected residents of southern California to be happier with the place where they lived, especially because of the climate and cultural opportunities. In reality, both groups ranked themselves the same in overall life satisfaction.

Hope is good. But action is better. So the next time you travel to a tempting new destination, think about what it is that appeals to you so much about the place, and channel your wanderlust into efforts to find the same qualities within your hometown. If you can’t get over how beautiful nature is when you’re on vacation, maybe you just need to schedule more local campouts into your weekends. If you spend 70% of your vacation Yelping the next meal, become a food booster in your hometown by trying every restaurant and shouting out your favorites online.

And if you do move, commit to your new town as fiercely as you can. But don’t expect it to fix you. Even the healing power of pizza smells can only do so much. 
So take some thought before you uproot your life and move. I'm not saying not to do it, just have a reason.

"Here's the big challenge of life: You can have more than you've got, because you can become more than you are."

That's the challenge.

"And of course, the other side of the coin reads: Unless you change how you are, you'll always have what you've got." 

But of course, if you want to move, for the right reasons, why not? Just make sure you're moving for the right reasons. 

While not directly related to a geographic fix, I find this video by Ashton Kutcher and inspiration and good advice. There are many others such videos, and if you seek (and you shall find). But I like Ashton's message, and the work he does outside of acting. (Includes excerpts from some of his performances at the end.) 






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

California: A Model for the Rest of the Country, Part 2

Part 1 here . On Leaving the Golden State Guest Post by NicklethroweR . Posted on the Burning Platform. The fabled Ventura Highway is all that separates my artist loft from the beach where surfing first came to the United States. Both my balcony and front patio face the freeway at about eye level and I could easily smack a tennis ball right on to the ever busy 101. Access to the beach and boardwalk is very important to a Tourist Town such as mine and I can see one underpass from my balcony and another underpass from the patio. Further up the street are two pedestrian bridges. Both have been recently remodeled so that people can not use it to kill themselves by leaping down into traffic. The traffic, just like the spice, must flow and the elites that live here do not like to be inconvenienced as they dart about between Malibu and Santa Barbara. Another feature of living where I live would have to be the homeless, the insane and the drug addicts that wander this particular...

Factfulness: Ignorance about global trends. The world is actually getting better.

This newsletter was powered by  Thinkr , a smart reading app for the busy-but-curious. For full access to hundreds of titles — including audio — go premium and download the app today. From the layman to the elite, there is widespread ignorance about global trends. Author and international health professor, Hans Rosling, calls Factfulness  “his very last battle in [his] lifelong mission to fight devastating global ignorance.” After years of trying to convince the world that all development indicators point to vast improvements on a global scale, Rosling digs deeper to explore why people systematically have a negative view of where humanity is heading. He identifies a number of deeply human tendencies that predispose us to believe the worst. For every instinct that he names, he offers some rules of thumb for replacing this overdramatic worldview with a “factful” one. In 2017, 20,000 people across fourteen countries were given a multiple-choice quiz to assess basic global literac...

Proper way to calculate CAGR using T-Sql for SQL Server

After reading (and attempting the solutions offered in some) several articles about SQL and CAGR,  I have reached the conclusion that none of them would stand testing in a real-world environment. For one thing, the SQL queries offered as examples are overly complex or don't use the correct math for calculating proper CAGR. Since most DBAs don't have an MBA or Finance degree, let me help.  The correct equation for calculating Compound Annual Growth Rate (as a percentage) is:  Some key points about CAGR:  The compounded annual growth rate (CAGR) is one of the most accurate ways to calculate and determine returns for anything that can rise or fall in value over time. Investors can compare the CAGR of two alternatives to evaluate how well one stock performed against other stocks in a peer group or a market index. The CAGR does not reflect investment risk. You can read a full article about CAGR  here .  To calculate the CAGR for an investment in a language like ...